Why Do I Feel ‘Lazy’ After a Stressful Event? Understanding the Freeze Response
Many people experience exhaustion, numbness, or a sense of being "stuck" after a stressful or traumatic event. If you've ever struggled to complete simple tasks, felt frozen in place, or found yourself binge-watching TV instead of handling responsibilities, you may be experiencing the freeze response—a biological survival mechanism.
Last month, during the Palisades and Eaton fires in Los Angeles, many of my clients described feeling paralyzed when preparing to evacuate. Instead of taking action, they stood still, uncertain of what to do. This isn’t laziness—it’s the nervous system’s way of coping with extreme stress.
What Is the Freeze Response?
The freeze response is part of our autonomic nervous system, which reacts to perceived danger. It is governed by the dorsal vagal system, a key concept in Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges.
According to Polyvagal Theory, our nervous system shifts between three states:
Ventral Vagal State – Feeling safe, engaged, and socially connected.
Sympathetic State – The “fight or flight” response, activated when we sense danger.
Dorsal Vagal State – The freeze response, which occurs when a threat feels overwhelming, and escape doesn’t seem possible.
When we freeze, our body essentially "shuts down" to conserve energy—similar to how animals in the wild "play dead" to avoid predators. However, in modern life, our nervous system can’t differentiate between an approaching wildfire and an overwhelming work deadline, leading to prolonged periods of emotional and physical shutdown.
Signs of the Freeze Response
If you're experiencing the freeze response, you may notice:
✔ Feeling overwhelmed by tasks or responsibilities
✔ Procrastinating or delaying important to-dos
✔ Difficulty making decisions or thinking clearly
✔ Zoning out, dissociating, or feeling emotionally numb
✔ Spending excessive time binge-watching TV or scrolling social media
✔ Feeling disconnected from yourself and others
How to Regulate Your Nervous System & Heal from Freeze
Acknowledging that your body is reacting, not failing, is the first step to healing. Dr. Dan Siegel refers to this as “name it to tame it”—recognizing your freeze response helps reduce its hold over you.
Here are some effective techniques to help regulate your nervous system:
Deep Breathing (2:1 Exhale Technique)
Inhale slowly through your nose for 4 seconds
Exhale gently through your mouth for 8 seconds
Repeat several times to signal safety to your nervous system
The Butterfly Hug (Bilateral Stimulation)
This EMDR-based technique can help calm your body:
Cross your arms over your chest, placing your hands on your upper arms.
Tap your arms gently in an alternating rhythm while taking deep breaths.
Focus on the sensation and your breath to promote relaxation.
Guided Videos & Resources
YouTube Resource: Calm with Kyle – Practical exercises for nervous system regulation.
Book Recommendation: Tapping In by Laurel Parnell – A guide to using bilateral stimulation to heal from stress and trauma.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Lazy—You’re Healing
The freeze response is not logical—it’s a biological survival mechanism. If you’re struggling with prolonged feelings of paralysis, know that you're not alone. With the right knowledge, tools, and therapy, you can retrain your nervous system to feel safe again.
Please explore my website for more guidance on trauma healing and EMDR therapy.